Twin Flames? by Greg Calise



This seems to be a popular topic; twin flames and soul mates. So many people have bought into this illusion. I know George Kavassilas speaks a lot about this, but I never bought into it. This would mean that we are not whole and complete within ourselves, and therefor need to search for the other half of ourselves. Good luck with that. I have a very simple question: “What great realized sage has Ever spoke about twin flames?” That’s right, none of them. This comes from the left handed tantric traditions, and the new age swooped it up like gold. It’s all illusion.

Now there are certain people that we have a tendency to reincarnate with, and it is a truly beautiful thing if you can find someone who you can truly love and spend your life with. But that seems to be rare these days, mainly because we were never taught how to relate to the opposite sex properly. The lucky people may figure it out later after many failed attempts.


People have a tendency to “fall in love” at which point, the rational faculties shut down, and the person is left in this heightened emotional state, with rose colored glasses and a false state of euphoria. This is not love, but only infatuation. Everyone around can see that you are lost in this illusory state, but the person experiencing the infatuation truly believes he is truly in love, and that love will somehow magically overcome all material obstacles. The movies are full of this magical illusion, and people get all gushy about the romantic affair. These situations usually end quite badly. Eckhart Tolle explains that this emotional state is all about attachment and clinging. It has nothing to do with love.

In my book, The Short and Simple Truth, I wrote:

“On the morning of Jan. 1, 2004, I had an even more profound awakening, which made the first major awakening pale in comparison. This was a much deeper awakening, and I was aware of many more profound Knowings of who I am. Again, these came like waves of revelations emanating from an even deeper aspect of my inner self. One of the first revelations was that I was whole again. Nothing was lacking. I had awakened to the fact that I am whole and complete within myself. Nothing more external was needed. This was a new and very satisfying feeling for me.

“I had seen that my entire life I never felt complete. There was always something lacking, as though my consciousness was permeated with very large empty holes that constantly needed filling. I’m sure many of you feel this. There is always something lacking, so we spend our lives trying to fill these holes to feel whole. We work all day to try to fill these holes with so many external things and people. The new dress, the new techno gadget, the new car, the new house, the vacation, the night out on the town, the new toy, more food, drugs, alcohol and on and on it goes. And of course the most important thing for me was the intimate relationship. My “other half” to fulfill that emptiness within. Now, if we fill those gaping holes with external things and people, what happens? The holes don’t stay filled for long before they need to be filled again. This is a never ending struggle, always looking to acquire something to fill those holes. This is like filling holes with water. They temporarily get filled, we feel temporary satisfaction, and then the holes dry up or the water seeps through the earth and they are empty again. And how many crazy things have we done to try to fill up the emptiness?

“Our lives become futile. We are never satisfied for long before a hole needs filling. The amazing thing is that this is such a major part of our existence and we don’t even see it. When it finally dawned on me what was happening, I was taken aback. How could I not see this so clearly before? Yes, I had a vague understanding, watching myself through the years always striving to become satisfied, but to truly awaken to it at such a profound level was quite astonishing; even embarrassing for a moment.”


So what we see is that our feeling of incompleteness due to not finding the perfect soul mate, is only a hole, a lack within ourselves, that somehow needs to be filled by another person. This is codependency, and what happens is that each person in the relationship is dependent on the other person to fill the emptiness we feel inside of us. Codependency is not a healthy condition, and puts a lot of stress on the partner to fill it up to make us happy.

Perhaps we should be more aware of this and act in more mature ways. Our life will move forward much more smoothly. Otherwise, we will find ourselves jumping from one relationship to the next, in search of that magical feeling. But it’s just that – Magic. A grand illusion that captivates us.

– Greg Calise